True Love

A woman was caressing her boyfriend’s face and reading Bible verses to him on the train. He stopped her to explain how much she is going to love his church because it has a team that marches to a nearby nursing home and wheels the chair- and bed-bound residents down the street, up escalators, and to the services. I imagined what such a procession must look like — wouldn’t those bed-bound bodies just roll out on the stairs? — and then I realized that perhaps I missed the most important part of their conversation, which I discovered had turned to their mutual love of a Leviticus verse. Yes, I thought, I probably did.

When Less Is More

A Chicago-Style Deep Dish Cheese Pizza from Lou Malnati’s needs something, but a Malnati Chicago Classic has too much sausage. As a result, I was intrigued to discover that this metro Chicago pizzeria chain now offers an option to go easy on the sausage, at least with online orders, which, after trying it, seems just about right. The next time, I asked if customers were charged the same for this option. A cashier said that they were, so I thought I should clarify. You put less on the pizza, I said, but we still pay the same? She assured me that I hadn’t misunderstood, as if paying the same for less didn’t somehow violate an unwritten consumer code of conduct. Maybe I should resume removing some of the sausage and throwing it in the trash rather than let this restaurant keep some of what I’ve purchased for other orders.